The Odd Couple
by Crazed-Scientist
Summary: Dante and Vergil have the horrible luck of having housearrest in the same apartment. Will these two EVER get along? my first fanfic plz be nice
1. Ahbrothers

Author's note: I don't own DMC. I don't own dante or vergil, but i can keep on dreaming. This is my first fanfic, don't kill me. :-) i try my best. (BTW: I live on reviews. They are tasty)

Dante was busy cooking, wearing a pink apron labeled "kiss the cook." He was going to surprise his twin brother, just because he just had the feeling like Vergil wasn't in the best of moods. He could tell from the screaming and yelling and the breaking of the window (which he was planning on fixing sometime this afternoon)  
"There!" He had the smile larger than the great wall of China as he set the food on the table.  
The food of course, was the only thing he knew how to make, Macaroni and Cheese. Oh, kraft, you are a tasty food.  
"Ohhh Vergil! Vergil!" Dante yelled, cupping his hands around his mouth to make his voice louder. "VERRRRGILLLLL"  
Vergil swore he heard dogs start barking.  
The blue devil was sitting in a chair, reading a book, a pair of eyeglasses perched at the top of his noise. He didn't exactly have the effort to look good today, he didn't shave, and didn't take the time to run his hand through his hair, combing it AND making it spikey at the same time. He was good at that. To viewers, it seemed like Vergil sweated hairgel.  
Taking off the reading glasses and crushing them in his palms (i did say that he was in a bad mood, right?), Vergil stood up and put the book down, making sure to bookmark the page. "What, Dante?" His voice cut through the air like a sharp knife. "Lunch!" Dante posed and then pointed at his brother, who walked into the kitchen only moments earlier. "I made it just for you, brother"  
Vergil rose an eyebrow, staring at the questionably edible food. It was steaming hot, spreading the smell of cheese and...mac through the tiny apartment they were doomed to share together. (let's just say...overly fun spring breakhorrible house arrest)  
Dante was suddenly behind his brother and pushed him into a chair. "Eat up." He then proceeded to spoon feed his brother, who didn't seem to like it very much.  
"GET THESE NOODLES OUT OF MY NOSE!" Vergil screamed, standing up and pushing Dante away from him. "BUT I MADE THEM FOR YOU BROTHER!" Dante screamed back, throwing the fork into the air. It proceeded to land in Vergil's hair...and STAY there.  
"..." Dante stared at his brother with dots for eyes.  
"...is there...a cheese covered fork...in my HAIR?" Vergil seemed as if he was breathing fire. "...if I said no, would you believe me?" Dante shrugged and then pointed to the fork. "Just comb your fingers through your hair. That's how you dry your hair, I swear. You don't need a towel to dry off, you can just use your magical powers to dry yourself, Vergy. Plus, that isn't cheese. It's mustard"  
Vergil paused, trying to cool himself down. "Wait...mustard"  
"Yeah, it looks better. It looks exactly how it does on the box"  
"Why can't I believe you...?" Vergil glared and then sighed, combing his fingers through his hair, taking out the fork and then throwing it at Dante. "I'll be in my room"  
"But that's my room too..." Dante said, taking off the 'kiss the cook' apron and setting it on the table next to the horribly cooked Mac and Cheese. Vergil just turned around and walked away, slamming the door behind him. "NEXT TIME I'LL JUST LEAVE YOU IN THE DEVIL WORLD? KAY? FINE." Dante yelled, being as casual as usual, shrugging his shoulders and then putting his hands on his hips. "I'm gonna go play some Mario Brothers. At least they love me." 


	2. Dante Has ADD

Dante was beginning to envy those people down in those streets. They had FREEDOM, he had housearrest with his brother. They weren't being threaten with Yamato against his throat everyday.  
Virgil was sitting in the small living room on the couch, legs crossed, book in hand. He had crushed his reading glasses, and now he was left squinting into an Anne Rice novel. Just as Virgil turned a page, Dante was infront of him, with puppy dog eyes.  
"Virgy, I'm bored"  
Virgil did his best to ignore his brother, but found himself throwing the book at him. It hit him square in the forehead, and then fell to the ground.  
"Virgy, I'm bored." Dante repeated.  
"Go clean your part of the room." Virgil ordered. This of course, was an age old taboo. Cleaning never made anyone not bored. Although Dante admited to the fact his part of the room was messy with broken weapons and sand (damn those sandy devils)  
"I want a puppy." Dante answered. He wasn't about to go clean his room! Not even with the sand beginning to iratate his skin! "We are not getting a dog. We can't even get out of this apartment, so where do you think we'll get that puppy"  
"Internet." Dante pointed out. Virgil just continued to glare until Dante hopped in the air. "I want a kitty"  
"I just thought you said you wanted a puppy"  
"I want both"  
Virgil was beginning to hate himself. Why did he have to have a brother like Dante? Finally, Dante spoke up, "I want chinese food"  
"Then order some"  
"Want any"  
"No"  
With that, Dante went off to the kitchen. Virgil was left wondering if his brother had A.D.D or something. 

Author's note: No plot line. Total out of character. That's what i'm about :-D huzzah? 


	3. The Internetz

Virgil sensed his brother's eyes over his shoulder, watching the monitor. He was on the internet, minding his own business, surfing around on google, talking to a certain Lady friend, and bidding on ebay for new glasses. He stopped as soon as his brother's pinky came soaring over his shoulder and started to hit the enter button.  
"What...are you doing?" Virgil sighed.  
"Are you on the internets?" Dante asked, still jabbing at the enter key until Virgil hit his hand away.  
"Yes, I am on the internet." He made sure not to end with an 's,' since he didn't want to sound like an idiot named Dante. He glared with his icy blue eyes, an eerie scary aura radiating from him.  
"Take a shower." Dante commanded, wondering if that would get rid of that scary glow. Virgil continued to glare. Dante looked away, knowing if he looked directly into the Virgil he would become blind. "The internet is just a hoax"  
"A...hoax"  
"Like bigfoot. Or hygiene." Dante answered, poking at his cheeks. "I order our food off the internet since I can't step out of this house because of something STUPID you did...if it was a hoax we would be starving." Virgil rubbed his forehead, continuing to browse the internet with multitasking power.  
"Correction. You would starve. I order pizza off the greatness of a phone. A REAL phone." Dante did the phone sign with his hands and then stuck out his tongue. With that, he went off to do what he usual does (which nobody really knows for truth. We've set up several cameras in the household and still haven't figured out where he goes. Some say that he hangs around Keanu Reeves and makes sure he doesn't go 'hulk.' Whatever floats his boat)  
Virgil continued to type quickly on the keyboard. Just as he pressed enter, the whole power to the apartment complex went out. Instantly, Virgil drew Yamato and slashed it through the wall, hitting Dante (that's where he was! in the other room) square in the head. This made a sound like a hammer hitting a rock.  
"W...want some mac'n'cheese?" Dante's voice cried out, he flailed his arms around a bit and then picked up ebony and ivory and began firing at the wall (the yamato still in his head of course), screaming bloody murder, "THIS IS THE LAST STRAW VIRGIL. THAT FREAKIN' HURT! Plus you don't like my cooking"  
Virgil yelled back through the wall, "WELL WHO GIVES A DAMN CAUSE I'LL JUST HAVE TO KILL YOU AGAIN." Yes, he said again. It's hard to kill a devil, so i guess he was just talking about harming to a point it would kill a normal person. Again, whatever floats their boat.  
There was a long drawn out battle, the wall between it all.  
At the end, the wall just collasped, the dust clearing, and then.  
The telephone echoed through the apartment that was now just one room, a kitchen and a bathroom. Virgil picked it up.  
It was the police. Something about extending their house arrest because of all the noise and yelling.  
There was a feeling in Virgil's heart that he would hear those words several times later on today. 

Author's note: short chapter still...sorry i'm so lazy. I'm sort of running out of ideas, but I'm thinking about them having a visitor. Who should it be? 


End file.
